Krystal has gotten her feelings hurt more than anyone in this show’s history, and this week, we’ve spiraled into full-blown temper tantrums. At this point, it’s hard to keep up with Marikh and Ashley (I know, who’s Ashley?) because some personalities are big enough for three women, namely Marikh, Maquel and Ashley, who were sent packing. But that wasn’t even half of the story. Let’s discuss.
The Dream Boat Date
Chelsea lands the first one-on-one date with Arie, which is spent on a boat, but not just any boat … a yacht, or as she calls it, a dream boat. They dive off and have some fun with some water sports before some personal time. Then, she straight up straddles Arie cowgirl-style and they make out on a jet ski because life in Fort Lauderdale is WILD. The night ends at a place called Car Museum, where Chelsea wears the best black jumper ever. But the real details come out when they sit down and Chelsea talks about her complicated past with her son’s father. The details are personal enough that her vulnerability speaks to Arie. She lands a rose (and a private concert!) proving that working mothers truly can have it all.
So, Arie invites the girls for a bowling date where everyone starts throwing back some beers and balls. And of course, Krystal tells the cameras that she wants some validation because Arie needs to “prove himself.” OK, Krystal. When the day turns into a competition, the girls break into two teams, Krystal says the customary pre-bowling prayer, but only one team can win.
Turns out that prayer works though because Krystal’s team wins, meaning they go to the “after party.” But then Arie opens the invite up to everyone, and Krystal loses her mind. And then the girls are left to explain her absence at the second part of the group date. Arie goes and addresses it and tells her to stay upstairs, and guess what? She doesn’t. But while Krystal … um, Krystals, Kendall makes some serious headway. But it’s Lauren B who finally speaks, and it earns her a rose!
Frog Legs and The Art of Agnosticism
Arie decides to take Tia on an airboat because regional stereotypes are real. They go and see this cool dude who gigs frogs and fries them up, and you can tell Arie has never left a cul de sac in his entire life. He asks about “froggin’” in a really affected accent, and I block the rest out because as a Southerner, I’m triggered. When I come back to, they’re making out against a sunset.
As the date ends, Tia gets really honest about her faith and the kind of guys she goes for, which sounds surface level, but it’s actually a pretty sincere moment. That all ends with an “I think I’m falling in love with you,” which definitely secures a rose.
Could we talk more about the insanity of the cocktail party? Sure. But let’s just sum it up with the quick story about how Krystal was TRIGGERED because her mom worked at a bowling alley and would bring men home, and that shook her up. Great. Wonderful.
Just A Krystal Update
Krystal doesn’t get any more superlatives because that means you’re super, and she is not acting super. Post-bowling date when all the girls were invited instead of just the winners, she lost her mind. She went full-in, refusing to go to the after party and threatening to leave the show. Like, Crazy Pants even packed her crazy pants. And when confronted with her actions, she says, “I wasn’t hiding in my room. I was investing in myself.”
Least Like a 22-Year-Old
Bekah and Arie’s age difference will never work because Bekah has more emotional intelligence (shout out to Taylor!) than Arie likely does. Mind you, from our couches, it sounds much harsher, but her exchange with Krystal is pretty spot on. That’s not to say that Bekah is perfect, but when she can spot the issue and the 36-year-old can’t, that’s a problem.
Most Patiently Dealing with a Stereotype
There’s a lot of stereotypes that are potent in this world, and it’s not like we haven’t seen most played out on The Bachelor, but the dumb Southerner is annoying. The patience that Tia exhibits is that of a saint. After explaining what a frog gig is, she explains that she’s an even mix of Southern girl and diva, and somehow, she doesn’t raise a hand as Arie stumbles through what should be a really fun conversation.